Ten Little Puritans

In this Blog: A Fine Reunion

The BOOB Girls Book VII: Ten Little Puritans

Remember this? Satan and the Puritan

White Bean Chicken Spinach Salad Recipe

Notes From Joy

The BOOB Girl Books

A Fine Reunion

Robinson Leary had her computer open on the table before her. The four girls were in the dining room at Meadow Lakes Retirement Community at their usual place, Table 12. Marge had a large mug of coffee in front of her. Hadley had her travel mug filled with decaf and Mary Rose and Robbie had the regular, dull white but overly clean Meadow Lakes cups steaming hot in front of them.

The conversation had been pleasant and general. There was gossip about Fairly Bainbridge, a new resident, a report that Old Frank was back in the hospital and the juicy item that Zed Zonker was said to be fooling around with Harriet Leadbottom.

Then Robbie spoke up, “Listen to this, girls. It brings back memories and not such great ones.” She took a breath and began to quote:

Ten Little Puritans, dressed up so fine,

One walked on water and then there were nine.

Nine little Puritans afraid they would be late

One hurried off and then there were eight.

Seven Little Puritans, brightest under Heaven

One hurt her neck and then there were seven.

Seven Little Puritans cutting up their tricks

One went to sleep and then there were six.

Five Little Puritans drinking in the bar

One passed out and then there were four.

Four Little Puritans off on a spree

One got fuddled and then there were three.

Three Little Puritans with hot dogs and brew

One spilled his ketchup and then there were two.

Two Little Puritans lying in the sun

One got too hot and then there was one.

One Little Puritan being all alone

That one ran away and then there were none.

They were quiet for what seemed like a long time. Finally, Marge spoke. “The Puritan Reunion in Salem’s Crossing.”

“Where ten Puritans staying at the B&B were kidnapped,” Hadley said, shaking her head.

“And I was kidnapped, too!” Mary Rose said loudly, getting the attention she deserved.

“I am never going to Salem’s Crossing again,” Robbie exclaimed, looking straight at Mary Rose, letting her know she recognized how seriously her kidnapping had been.

“There were those creepy Puritan dolls – ten of them, all lined up on the table waiting for us when we got to the B&B,” Mary Rose said. She shivered a little at the thought.

“And when one of the dolls disappeared, one of the Puritans vanished as well,” Robbie said, her voice low.

“Hey,” Marge said gleefully, “It isn’t all bad. Remember those Puritan names?”

They looked at her. Finally, Hadley smiled. “The two Bahls brothers, Harry Bahls and Buster Bahls.”

Mary Rose smiled back. “And that awful married couple, Ophelia and Royal Payne.”

“Sam and Ella Simptoms,” Hadley remembered.

And the greatest Puritan names, Marge added, “Abstinence Evermore and Patience Evenow.”

They were quiet for a minute, trying to recall the last two Puritans. Mary Rose’s brain clicked in first, “Knott and DieWell Barebones!”

“Six men and six women,” Hadley said.

“Just like those creepy dolls,” Robbie said.

“And Scooter McCooter, who owned the B&B and was nutty as a fruitcake.”

Mary Rose looked off into space. “I remember the kidnapping,” she said in a low voice. “That terrible ma