I told my husband, Ted, when we first talked about The BOOB Girls, that I realized that in about half the books these four old women beat the crap out of some bad guy. Oh, would that be great if we could in real life!
Here’s the “beat the crap out" sequence of just ONE of the delightful beatings in The Last BOOB Girl Book.
They knew what to do.
Robbie grabbed the big Bible in its wooden case.
Hadley took two of the biggest cast iron skillets off the wall.
Mary Rose stood ready, as if she was preparing to run a 5K race.
Geoffrey was beside her as much on point as he could be.
Before Wiley, Alphonso or Raven could protest, the shed door opened.
“Ron!” Wiley said loudly as the skinny man stepped through the door.
“Vondra!” the skinny man yelled back, looking as surprised as anyone could look.
He would have looked more surprised to see the girls, but before he could notice them, Hadley beaned him with all her might on the side of his head. Tiny flakes of rust bounced off the skillet and flew into the air.
She hit him on the other side of the head with the other skillet, then again with the first one as if his head were a ball between two ping-pong paddles. Rust flakes were showing up in his grey hair.
“Ow! Ow! Ow!”
Robbie bonked him on top of the head with the heavy Bible box, then lifted it above her head and with all her might and slammed it down again.
Ron Aconda made no sound this time.
His eyes rolled back.
Mary Rose stepped forward as the man began to slump and gave him her Olympic groin kick. His slumping made the kick go a little to the right and her momentum dislocated his knee.
“Drat!” she said.
“Woof, snarl,” Geoffrey said, grabbing hold of one of Ron’s arms with a lock-jaw grip that made pit bulls look like wimps.
Ron still didn’t say anything.
His eyes were rolled back, then they began to close.
He took a couple of staggering steps in the direction of the door.
Raven looked at Alphonso. “Should we help them?”
Alphonso looked at his friend and smiled. “I think they have it under control.”
Before Alphonso finished speaking, Ron was on his knees, losing consciousness, and Marge was aiming her red cane at an area between his legs.
The taser zipped.
Ron was zapped.
Note from Joy: I think BOOBS XII is some of my best writing. Usually when Janet and I do a book I have read it at least three times by the time I’m finished. I have proofed it twice.
Then Janet gets it right back to me ad I do it at least twice again.
It’s like a relative you don’t like who comes and stays for three weeks.
By the time it’s published I never want to speak to it again.
But this time, because we had so much time due to the pandemic, I had a long time before Janet got it back to me. I read it with fresh eyes and I was pleased.
I also do something in this book I have never done before. I’ve kept some things very neutral because you are a diverse group of great women who have very differing opinions. I didn’t want to offend anyone.
Well hey – I’m too old for that sh** now!
In The Last BOOB Girl Book, I end with a section that you can read or ignore. Each of the girls, after the book ends, are in their apartments with heavy thoughts or serious conversations. Outside a snowstorm reflects their emotions as it falls in Norman Rockwell flakes or raging blizzard winds.
Robbie: Strange Fruit Hanging From the Southern Trees talks about an assignment she gave her Creighton U students on lynching spectaculars.
Hadley in Do Ya Need A Little Help? talks to a tiny figure of death about dying as we reach our age.
Marge the homicide detective does her bit on social justice and justice reform
And Mary Rose has a special conversation about school and school shootings.
You don’t have to read that part. The book ends before that section.
But I’ll be interested in your thoughts if you do read it. It’s written in BOOB Girlisms and lets us look at the girls as I really see them and who they are.
After the deaths of John Lewis and Ruth Bader Ginsberg, I’m glad I wrote it because it’s a look into my soul as well, and I hope it let’s you take a loving look into yours.
Keep in touch!
What should the BOOB Girls be up to now during the pandemic? For the next few blogs we’ll highlight book XII, but we may need to go to Meadow Lakes and support Alphonso Greatwood as he faces a dismal Autumn without football!!! See below!
SHARE THIS WITH SOMEONE WHO NEEDS A SMILE.
FORWARD IT TO FRIENDS.
Have some ideas?
What should the girls be doing during this difficult time?
Send ideas and adventures to email@example.com
As they used to say on old time radio: Stay Tuned.
This looks like a long summer.
Time to read and give gifts.
Buy the set of 12 for $125, and get a free audio of book 1:
Your set will be mailed to you in October.
Give the books as gifts or put them in your library.
The book will be out this month, and now it’s time to PRE-ORDER.
Just send a check for $16 to:
8141 Farnam Dr #322
Omaha, NE 68114
For credit cards call Joy at 402-639-2939
We do have a launch party planned on November 22, but with the pandemic,
we doubt that we’ll be able to welcome our 100+ ladies to join us. I miss that!!