It’s AlI Right to Cry

Mary Rose McGill blew her nose – loudly. She had just sat down at table 12. She was totally alone in the spacious dining room. A small pack of tissues was in her right hand. Another small pack of tissues was in her jeans pocket. She was crying.

“What if I can’t stop?” she said out loud.

“You Will,” Robbie Leary answered as she walked in the door, laptop in one hand and coffee mug in the other.

“I didn’t think anyone would hear me,” Mary Rose said with a weak smile.

“Hey. It’s good to talk to yourself. You’ll have a conversation with an intelligent person.” Robbie gave Mary Rose a quick hug and sat down beside her, setting laptop and coffee mug close to her on the table. “What’s

up, girl. Why the tears?”

“Death and disaster,” Mary Rose replied. She took a deep breath. “You know we’ve had two deaths here at Meadow Lakes already this year.” It was a statement, not a question.

Robbie nodded sadly. “Marleen and Ronald. Both good neighbors. And he was 101 years old.” Robbie finished by shaking her head, slowly.

“Plus,” Mary Rose said, my cousin, Bertie died. Now I’m the oldest cousin in both my families.” She pulled another tissue out of the little pack on the table and wiped her eyes. “Then a long-time friend’s son died after a terrible illness and…” she took a deep breath. “One of my best friends had a frightening heart episode and after she came home from the hospital, she went almost completely blind and is in assisted living now.”

There was a long moment of silence. “And sadness doesn’t come alone. It opens the door and invites in all its relatives. There is so much pain and fear and bad, bad stuff going on right now, I think if I start crying for real I’ll

never stop.” Mary Rose said softly.

“You will,” Robbie said. “And while crying seems awful at the time, it’s good for you. It releases tension so you don’t collapse. It lets Cortisol flow out in the tears and that relieves stress. Crying helps, even if you end up with

puffy eyes and a runny nose.” She handed Mary Rose another tissue.

Robbie wasn’t done. “What’s more, crying is NOT a weakness. It’s strength. Keep that in mind, sister” She smiled and gently rubbed her friend’s back between the shoulders. “You want a cup of coffee?” Robbie asked, picking

up her cup.

Mary Rose nodded. “And, hand me another tissue,” She smiled. “You just picked up my packet when you grabbed your cup.”

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A Note from Joy

Today, I am Mary Rose McGill. So far this year I have experienced the death of two neighbors here at Arboretum village, death of my oldest cousin, death of the son of best friends, and a serious heart failure and blindness in a friend of more than 50 years. Pile on that what’s going on in the world and it’s definitely a time for me to grab the tissues.

One of the best books I ever bought for my daughters is a beautiful, 1972 children’s book entitled Free to be You and Me.

My favorite poem in it was written on the page next to a picture of Rosy Grier, one of the biggest, toughest defensive tackles in the NFL and a great football players of his day.

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Rosey was on the bench. Crying. Really crying.

Here’s the poem and the first stanza will be in my heart forever.

It's all right to cry

Crying gets the sad out of you

It's all right to cry

It might make you feel better

Raindrops from your eyes

Washing all the mad out of you

Raindrops from your eyes

It's gonna make you feel better

It's all right to feel things

Though the feelings may be strange

Feelings are such real things

And they change, and change, and change

Sad and; grumpy, down in the dumpy

Snuggly, hugly, mean and ugly

Sloppy, slappy, hoppy, happy

Change, and change, and change

It's all right to feel things

Though the feelings may be strange

Feelings are such real things

And they change, and change, and change

It's all right to know

Feelings come, and feelings go

It's all right to cry

It might make you feel better

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