Heavens to Murgatroyd!
In this blog:
Heavens to Murgatroyd!
A Note from Joy
BOOB Girls and The Senile Squad for your groups
New Offers in The BOOB Girl Series
“Don’t touch that dial!” Wiley Vondra actually yelled it out and it brought a good round of laughter from everyone crowded around table 12 at Meadow Lakes Retirement Community.
“Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!” Alphonso Greatwood responded, slapping the top of the table, and making the dinner-sized coffee thermos and their cups jump like miniature Jehosaphats.
They laughed some more.
“Who the hell was Jehosaphat, anyway,” Alphonso asked.
“Holy Moly,” Mary Rose said with a big grin. Then she stopped shot. “No, we still say that.” She became lost in thought.
“You was still swell,” Wiley said, patting her knee.
“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” Hadley Joy Whitfield responded.
Robinson Leary looked around, put her hands on her hips and said, “Well, this is a fine kettle of fish!’
Marge Aaron lifted her coffee cup, looked at it and said, “Kilroy was here,” and looking at the bare table added, “but he’s gone now!”
“See you in the funny papers,” Hadley said, standing up and grabbing the thermos for a refill.
Raven the Apache sat still; one corner of his mouth raised in the smallest of all smiles. His eyes went from one crazy white person to the next.
“I’ve laughed so hard I need a Carter’s little liver pill,” Wiley snickered.
“The pills are gone and so is Carter,” Robbie informed them.
“Well, Fiddlesticks!” Hadley said, refilling their cups.
It had all started when Wiley announced, as he sat down at the table, that he was thinking about getting rid of his old jalopy.
“Nobody says ‘jalopy’ anymore,” Marge said, a little sadly.
“Well, I’ll be jiggered,” Wiley had responded, grinning.
They were off an runnin. Old saying no one heard anymore.
“Anybody want to cut a rug?” Wiley asked, moving his rear in a little chair dance.
“Not for all the tea in China,” Marge grinned.
“Oh, my achin’ back!” Wiley said with a monstrous grin. He was really into this.
Suddenly Raven stood up. “This doesn’t cut the mustard,” he said solemnly, “I’m outta here.” He walked to the door, turned and with a smile said, “See ya later, Alligator.”
“After while Crocodile,” they all said together.
There were a few seconds of silence.
“Pretty soon, Baboon,” Robbie said softy, with a big grin.
“How now, Brown Cow,” Mary Rose added, bouncing a little in her seat.
That was when the door to the dining room flew open and Raven reappeared.
“We have a bit of an emergency,” he said with genuine Apache calm.
They looked at him.
“Zed Zonker and Cyreel Schmeel are streaking the lobby, which is full of a book club meeting – all ladies.”
As one person, they stood.
“That’s not all,” Raven added. “They’re being chased by a chicken.”
They headed for the door.
(To be continued.)
A NOTE FROM JOY
Chris LeGrow is a retired Omaha cop. He is also an author. He wrote two books that are like siblings – friendly ones – to The BOOB Girls.
The Senile Squad
Da Broad Squad
Chris and I met, visited well together, and designed a presentation called,
WRITING ABOUT OLD PEOPLE,
FOR OLD PEOPLE.
Chris and I perch on two bar stools and involve the audience in conversation.
We talk about being old people writing about old people – our characters, what it’s like to be creative, how smart, clever and powerful old people are. His Ol’ Blues (retired cops) compliment my Girls (Old Broads) and we have a lot of healthy talk and a lot of laughter.
If you are in the Omaha area, and want us for your group, call me at 402-639-2939.
We’re doing this for fun and our fee is being able to make our books available to your group. We’ll also let you know when we appear at places where you can drop in. We drink coffee while we do this, so join us for a cup, a hug and a laugh.
1. One BOOB Girls Birds Poster:
Janet found one lonely poster (size of a small movie poster) by Jim Campbell of the BOOB Girls as birds. From Left to right: Esmeralda St Benedict, Maggie Patten, You (because there is always room for one more at Table 12, Mary Rose McGill, Robinson Leary, Marge Aaron, Hadley Joy Morris-Whitfield, Patty Whack. And below is Marge’s red cane and the evil Finigan Farquer peering around the tree and “lurking.”
First one to respond saying you want it gets it for $30.
2. Any Six Books for $60.
Take your pick, first six, last six, mix and match. A great way to start a collection or fill in the missing ones.
3. We will send a BOOB Girl book from you to a friend who needs a laugh. Do this now, from this blog. It will be a perfect gift.
Credit cards: website or 402-639-2939
Check to Joy Brown at
8141 Farnam, #322, Omaha NE 68114